Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
