I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
time to smoke my breakfast
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize