So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
