I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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