just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
two words: eviction party
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Randomize
