Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
