Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
