So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
