So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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