My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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