he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
