Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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