next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So vagazzling was a success
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
