Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
