So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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