There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
