i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
