Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
