community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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