Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
