did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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