Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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