i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
