If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
His hands were made for my vagina.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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