Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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