I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
