Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
