I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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