let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
