So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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