Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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