we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nutella sex= disaster
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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