Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
