their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
