OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
