just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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