We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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