I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
