i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
