You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
