he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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