To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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