piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
