You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
