Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Randomize