tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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