According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
