In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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