Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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