Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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