He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize