Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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