Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She bit a glass in half.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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