just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
