woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
