So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need moral support for this bender
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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